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I Still Think About Who I Was Last Summer

from An Autobiography by Old Gray

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Cameron: I know I said I wouldn't write a song about this person again but they have been my biggest lyrical influence for the past two years and I feel like this song provided some closure. I've written countless songs about her but I feel like now we are two totally different people and I shouldn't dwell on it anymore. This is the song about loss. This is the song about leaving. This is the song that I spent countless hours working on until I felt like the lyrics were what they needed to be. The line "You kissed me on the forehead and told me that you'd never let go, you told me that you'd love me 'til the end, which begs the question, 'are we now dead'?" I can't really explain, it's just everything I want to say. This is probably the most emotional song i've written and that's really saying something. At the end of the song I bring up a line that Raph wrote for a song of ours called "Dying Leaves" where I say "so here's to life, so here's to love, I've said it before, I fade with the setting sun." I feel like tying these parts together furthers the closure. Charlie's spoken word part at the end really completes the tracks. I know he was feeling what I was feeling so when he added that I was just like, "wow."

lyrics

Cam: Well I’ve changed except my heart still beats too fast and my lungs still collapse and my legs still shake. I once thought love was real when we sat atop that hill and looked at cars below. We used to grow. You kissed me on the forehead and told me that you’d never let go. You told me that you’d love me until the end. Which begs the question, are we now dead? The person I thought I knew must be the person I once trusted until my bones rusted over in the snow we used to grow like the tallest tree in my background I used to know. Well happiness and joy and bliss, how it all disappeared so quick. So here’s to life and here’s to love. I’ve said it before, that I fade with the setting sun.

Charlie: My ears are still ringing from the sound of your broken heart, beating faster than thought, caught in your stare, so encompassing. All resolve is lost as words fall from your lips, my trembling fingertips held out in question. So shake hands with regret, set to slip away. Your eyes crossing, rivers flowing under your pale feet. As the moments count down to flames, meet and greet death, he wears a cloak of your hopes and dreams, quenched like the raging fire they were once. You’re the breath he never found; you are the closed eyes peacefully resting while those around you are torn to pieces. You’re the smoke I pull to escape from thought of you. No touch, no shadow cast into mind, your hand fervidly held at your side as memories of you flow through mine an empty space more lonesome for what it has lost. You’re the sunset smile thundering out of a careless moment, you’re the tightly closed fingers holding in a breath. If you would stay here with me, one more minute, I would steal the world.

credits

from An Autobiography, released March 11, 2013
Cameron Boucher: guitar, vocals
Charlie Singer: drums, vocals
Raphael Bastek: bass
Nick Kwas: violin

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Old Gray New Hampshire

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